SATURDAY, DECEMBER 9TH, 2023 – THE ARMORY – SPENCER, WV
Sponsors: The Calhoun Cabaret, Groves Auto Service, Tansky Motors, & Twister’s Garage.
Ring announcer: “Jolly Old Saint” Nick Stevens
Referees: Benning J Hutchison & Smartie Marks
Owner/Director: The Boss Lady JC
– PRESHOW: “The Hawaiian Hurricane” King Kaluha vs. John D Crazy Hillbilly – Present on a Post Match
Winner: King Kaluha
Four wrapped Christmas presents were bound to the ringposts. Inside each box was an advantage the competitors could use during the match. All four boxes had to be opened for the match to be won.
Box 1 held a nutcracker toy, with which John D “accidentally” struck the referee in the groin… twice.
Box 2 held a Christmas scarf; after John D put it on, King Kaluha used it to choke the hillbilly, as well as bind him to the ring ropes.
John D broke free, and opened Box 3, which held a tarantula! John D dropped the spider on King Kaluha’s face, who then tossed it out of the ring in a panic.
The final box held brass knuckles, which “The Hawaiian Hurricane” used to knock down the hillbilly and obtain a pinfall for the win.
1) SinBorn vs. Lover Boy Terrence Morelli– Twerkin’ Around the Christmas Tree Match
Winner: Lover Boy Terrence Morelli, via DQ
Both competitors had boxes filled with jingle bells tied around their waists. When the bell was struck, the wrestlers had to “dance” to try and empty their box. Sinborn was unhappy with this match up, and tore the box from his waist, using it to attack Lover Boy. A mistletoe decoration fell from the box, and as Sinborn held it up to examine it, Lover Boy gave him a big smooch! Sinborn fell to the mat, and Lover Boy hit his signature flying squirrel maneuver. The referees determined Lover Boy the winner via disqualification.
2) Handsome Nick Hamrick with A. Dick Vickers vs. “The King of King’s Road” AJ Alexander – Gift Box Grapple
Winner: AJ Alexander
The only way to win this match was for one competitor to put their opponent in a large gift box and close it.
After battering away at each other for several minutes, Alexander managed to not only throw Vickers into the box, but nail Hamrick with a devastating roundhouse kick, sending him into the box and ending the match.
3) Aaron Graves vs. “Mr. 5-Star” Gary Gandy – Santa’s Workshop Streetfight
Winner: Aaron Graves
These two rivals battled it out for more than 15 minutes, hitting each other with everything from huge candy canes to kendo sticks, slamming each other on hard candies, and taking the fight to the outside of the ring. In the end, Graves sent Gandy’s head through a gingerbread house with a huge top rope curb stomp, putting an end to the bout.
* SPECIAL APPEARANCE BY SANTA CLAUS
Santa came to the ring and began reading his naughty and nice list. Unfortunately, King Kaluha was listed on the naughty side. This enraged the “Hawaiian Hurricane,” who stormed the ring to interrupt. Santa reassured Kaluha that he had a “special gift” just for him, and to close his eyes. Santa reached into his sack and retrieved a pineapple hat, which he placed on Kaluha’s head. This angered Kaluha, who threw a few punches at Santa. Thanks to his high levels of holiday spirit, Santa was able to dodge the attack and counter with a massive stunner!
4) “The Modern Day Frankenstein” Hero Napier & “The Leviathan” Michael Anthony (c) vs. “The Unpoppable Force” Sarah Bubblés & “The Show Pony” Reese Ramone – Tag Team Championship Match
Winners: Hero Napier & Michael Anthony to retain
This was a surprise challenge for Bubbles and Ramone, who regrettably could not find common ground to work together as a tag team during this bout. Bubbles took the brunt of the offense as Ramone cowered on the apron. After taking slam after slam from both Anthony and Napier, “The Modern Day Frankenstein” took Bubbles out with a huge senton, retaining the titles.
5) “The Mór of Irish Strong Style” Riley rose (c) vs. Tyler Grayson (Mountain Pass Medal Cash In) – Rt33W Open Weight Championship Match
Winner: Tyler Grayson, via DQ. Riley Rose retains.
Rose came to the ring expecting a singles match against a mystery opponent. As he spoke to the fans about the recent birth of his daughter, Grayson emerged from the back to cash in the Mountain Pass Medal, which he won in September, to challenge Rose for the Rt33W Open Weight Championship. The two men held nothing back as they battered each other with strikes, kicks, and every maneuver in the book. As Grayson ascended the ropes to go for his signature 450 splash, Sinborn ran to the ring, knocking Grayson off the ropes, and the two brawled on the outside. Rose came to Grayson’s aid, allowing Grayson to instead hit the 450 on his attacker. Grayson won via DQ thanks to Sinborn’s interference, allowing Riley Rose to retain the title.
6) “The Notorious GMT” Gorgeous Morgan Taylor vs. The Mountain King – Unsanctioned Secret Santa Match
Winner: Mountain King
It is clear there has been no love lost between Taylor and the Mountain King all year, culminating in this no rules, anything goes bout. The two spent this match assaulting each other with everything from gift boxes, gingerbread houses, road signs, and even a Christmas tree. As GMT went for his brass knuckles, he tripped backwards over Referee of the Year Smartie Marks, who was down recovering from an accidental splash from the Mountain King. The Mountain King retrieved the knuckles, faked Taylor out with a feint punch, and followed with a devastating DDT for the win. R
Route 33 Wrestling returns in March 2024! Be sure to follow us for all the updates! Have a happy holiday season, and we’ll see you next year!
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