Dear Publisher:

It’s said that “ignorance is bliss.” Truer words have seldom been uttered, and ‘troublemaker’ is a good appellation for the sort of people who open one can of worms after another. 

 The tranquility of what was once one of the most blissful counties in Almost Heaven is marred by clouds of doubt over the EMS, the School Board, and the 911 Center. 

 Think of how many people were upset by the revelations surrounding the EMS. Now, think of how much happier those people would have been if nobody had started digging and found that mess. I know EMS would be happier if they didn’t have to placate people with fast talking and faster math. Abbott and Costello might have been able to divide 28 into 7 and get 13, but, with the clouds of doubt, EMS is struggling with dividing by 2. 

 The School Board had the right idea, trying to keep the details of the new middle school curriculum under wraps. For so long, there’s been so little attention given to the schooling of our children. What happened to the blissful arrangement of parents being happy to be rid of the responsibility of raising their children and the schools being happy to indoctrinate the same children in what to think and how to think it? 

 I don’t rightfully know whether this new curriculum is a step forward in producing compliant graduates ill equipped to question their betters or a step backwards towards producing the sort of free thinkers who question too much and stand in the way of progress. What details have been released about the program came late, after I had stopped paying attention. 

 Why would I want to know? It’s not as though I should care what goes into children’s heads. We knew full well, when education became public, when public education was taken over by the state, and when state education was taken over by the federal government, that it wasn’t really about education. It was about control and uniform indoctrination. Why should we care now, when they decide to change a little something?

 It’s unfortunate that Carl Ballengee wasn’t able to get his credentials in order before the appointment of a new 911 Director. With the clouds of doubt stirred up by the troublemakers, the Commission had two bad options. If they appointed our recent interim sheriff, his lack of credentials might draw attention from the state. If they appointed Julie Siers’s protege, Kelly Barr, the local troublemakers would just keep digging. 

 I don’t know and I don’t want to know what skeletons lurk in the 911 Center’s closet. It’s clear that there’s something two of the commissioners don’t want discovered there, otherwise Commissioner Arthur would have gotten the seat on that committee, just like he got every other one of former Commissioner Hicks’s seats. With the attention surrounding the latest appointment, even that might not have been enough. I’m afraid there’s not much more to be done but to bury our heads in the sand and try hang onto our bliss for as long as we can. 

Momus is the Greek god of mockery, sarcasm, satire, and harsh criticism. The son of Night and twin of Misery, he has resided on Earth since his exile from Olympus on charges of destabilizing Zeus’s regime. The letter was provided by a community member of wit for our entertainment and satirical truth.