My wife has a friend named Becky. I like Becky and I swear if I ever were to write a book it may be a pseudo children’s book about the things that happen in Becky’s barnyard.
Just recently for instance was another bizarre instance where I would have to say would only happen there.
I’d title the book Becky’s Bizarre Barnyard.
Just recently Becky got a pig. It was not a piglet it was perhaps half grown. Becky liked the pig and was wanting to get it acclimated to its surroundings on her farm over in rural Ohio.
So, she took it out to meet her horses.
Becky has several horses including one ornery black one.
Anyhow, Becky held the pig up to show it to the black horse which took a full-sized horse sniff of it.
Mistake.
The poor little pig started making a “ree, ree, ree” sound and wriggled out of Becky’s arms and started running out through the field going “ree, ree, ree” before it fell over — dead!!!
Yes, the previously healthy young pig had run away untouched and died.
Becky took the pig to the local veterinarian who said it had died of a heart attack.
Let’s see the horse scares the pig so bad that it has a heart attack and dies?
Yes. But that is merely the tip of the iceberg.
Let’s talk for a while about the ornery black horse.
When Becky and my wife would go out riding Becky would usually ride the black horse but the black horse would seemingly try to bully my wife.
One day my wife was back in the horse stalls when the black horse came in trying to crowd her. After trying to shoo it out of the way she ended up popping it on the nose with her fist.
It worked. My wife said after that the black horse was like a little puppy following her around wherever she went.
And now for more on the black horse …
Becky had bought a pistol and my wife taught her to shoot. My wife s a good shot just in case you are wondering.
Anyhow a neighborhood cat had been tormenting the black horse by getting in the rafters of the barn and jumping down on the horse’s back and laying its claws to it.
The scratches were too far from the horse’s heart to kill it, still it was bothersome to the horse.
But something did need to be done.
One day the cat jumped down on the horse causing a commotion in the barn and Becky decided to shoot near the cat and scare it off. She shot. The cat leapt and came down with a thud. The shot was an accidental bullseye and the cat used up at least one of its nine lives that day. Somewhere behind the barn there is a cat graveyard of one.
But there is more to the black horse’s legend.
One day they are bringing in the laundry when the horse comes running up stealing a pair of Becky’s red panties and running away with them. They chased after the horse for a while before finally giving up.
Later the horse came back with the red panties on his head looking through one leg with an ear sticking out the other leg.
The panties now? Who really knows where they are?
Then there are the dogs. Becky has a couple wiener-style dogs a male and a female.
The male for some reason did not care much for an electric recliner Becky owns and one day decided to do something about it by chewing on the electric cord.
If you remember the movie Christmas Vacation and remember the cat scene, well, you know what happened except the dog didn’t die. He was electrocuted but didn’t die. Instead, he was rushed to the veterinarian and nursed back to health. Of a fashion.
Now sometimes when the dog walks through the house he will take to shaking just like he was biting down on an electric cord which of course he isn’t. And when he talks past the chair, he will duck his head down and slink away.
Poor dog.
But wait there is more.
One day my wife was visiting and doing something in the kitchen when she heard a scream coming from down the hall.
She looked and saw a snake on the floor. From somewhere a copperhead had slithered its way into the house and was crawling across the floor toward an open bedroom door.
Not really thinking my wife threw the butcher knife she had in her hand and lo and behold the knife hit the snake right behind its head pinning it to the floor killing it.
Becky told my wife thanks and said she wouldn’t want to mess with her because she was a crack pistol shot and a knife thrower.
A couple of times before I have thought about writing a book up to gathering the information to do so.
One was about the rich history of Northfork High School basketball during the Jennings Boyd coaching era. During that era the defunct little school in McDowell County won eight straight Class AA titles.
The other was about the career and life of my late friend Joe Nuxhall who back June 10, 1944, at the age of 15 became the youngest player ever in Major Leage Baseball when he pitched for the Cincinnati Reds against the St. Louis Cardinas. He was only a sophomore in high school and after that he returned to Hamilton High School and graduated before eventually going back to the MLB and pitching before becoming a broadcaster for the Reds.
The books about Northfork and Nuxhall would have been interesting and fun to write but they just didn’t happen.
The one about Becky’s Bizarre Barnyard probably won’t happen either but if I get a few more good chapters …
Until next time stay safe but don’t live your life in a bubble.
