The Chronicles of Violet: Happy 90th!

There’s a quote that says “We’ll be friends until we’re old and senile, and then we’ll be new friends.” There’s a lot of truth in that with dementia. To those of you who sent cards for Mother’s birthday, thank you!!!!! Every card she opened was a reminder of someone she knew she loved, or a new friend that she was so thankful for. I cannot explain the joy in watching her open and read the cards. I laid them on her table and she went through them again and again that day and the days following. It gave me new insight on “the card ministry” of a church. There is something so different about a card that comes in the mail. It’s not that digital messages are not nice, but something you can hold in your hand is so nostalgic now. People just don’t take the time anymore to send hand written messages.

My cousin Pokey, aka Wayne Hardway stopped by early on Mother’s birthday and she talked all day about how she’d known him since he was a little boy, and then she would follow that with, “well, he’s still little.” Which cracked me up. His name was not familiar to her but the fact that he took the time to stop and see her and drop a card from he and his wife meant the world to her.

It caused me to reflect on how I should do more for people I care about, such as send reminders that I really do care!

The cards were from family, church friends, work friends and Ridgeview News readers and with the opening of each one, we would remind her of how that person fit into what is now the puzzle of her life. I know she was probably fibbing when she told me she remembered them, but maybe not, because sometimes the clarity she will have about a certain thing is uncanny.

When I first moved into her home, I had to keep telling her that it was for my peace of mind. I would tell her that I feared she would fall, or need someone in the middle of the night. She tolerated me, but she was such an independent person. Now, if I spend too much time sewing or whatever in another room she gets fearful; when I come back into the living room she always tells me how glad she is I came back. This makes my heart both happy and sad. Happy that she wants me to be there, but sad, that she felt she was alone. Dementia is cruel.

One of the cards that meant so much to her was a card from Hardman’s Supply in Grantsville. Hardman’s has been the hardware store of most every family in the county. They sent her a larger card with a “Happy 90th” on the front and when opened it played the Happy Birthday song with a large pop out cake that had lights flashing. I put all the cards in a basket by her chair, but the Hardman’s card she pulled out and set on her table to play again. When she would open it she would tell me how she wished it didn’t do that, but then she would play it again. That folks, is entertainment for me. Also a reminder that local businesses in a small town are family too.

The kids, grandkids and great grandkids came by for cake and Uncle Cleo’s yummy spaghetti supper. We’re a little overwhelming to her… but she had a great evening, although she always ends with “they’re really loud.”

I wanted to acknowledge all those who sent her cards and I’m praying, praying, praying I don’t miss anyone! If I did, please forgive me. And these are just in the order I pulled them out of the basket…